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Resistance

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Have you ever been in a situation where you never even thought of liking a friend that much but ended up accidentally falling for him for all the things you like about him? ( like, wow, he really is something special I have not seen in most young man these days) And not long after that, things happened, when at first, it feels right but then stuff got weird ( some of it could be my own faults) and I somehow feel like he doesn't want me around him at all? This is not a good feeling to have. It has been 7 months since the first approach, I still can't quite get over it. No matter how much I try to resist that feeling or ignoring. At the end of the day, before bed, at work, I still think about it. At night yesterday, I was sleeping and thinking at the same time, result is I don't really sleep. I was sleepy at work, but still managed to do work actively thanks to all the workouts.. Almost at the end of the year now, wonder where this leads? Why did our paths crossed in ...
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setia

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Is it rare to stay loyal to someone you like/love? I realized these banyak kekurangan sifat tersebut. Selamba dek melayan orang lain walaupun dah kahwin.. Feel like there is a,lacked of common sense on how their partner would be thinking/feeling. I for one think that being loyal is important. For the past few relationships I had, I am always dead serious and committed to my then partner. Somehow, they were notas serious as they claimed. I will always aim for a legit tie whenever  am in a relationship.. Lol.. I am not one who play games or having  bf for the sake of having one. I took relationship seriously. I guess they just find me intensed in that sense. Oh well, now I know I can't really trust man's words.. After a few disappointments, I am not ready for another one. Next time it will be a serious one hopefully. I am not getting younger, for sure I don't have time for game. You are either in or out.. There is no in between..
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Berperasaan pelik

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Tak sedap hati, gerak hati, petunjuk? hmm peliknya perasaan. malas nak fikir. go away feelings. I don't like to be in this mode. A lot of job done. But somehow, somewhat it always there in my mind. why is it still there? it has been months, why can't it just go away? kadang2 tak tenang dibuatnya, keep praying to be removed if it's not destined to be so. But why is it still here. Kepelikan.
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