neuroticallyme

I was making tea and as usual my brain thinks about every other million things. And suddenly I thought of this:"what makes me, me?" Okay, I was supposed to continue this last two days but reently I have slept mighty early.. hehe. Too tired during the day could be. Always give my all at work. sampai malam mata ngantuk. Anyhoo, let's continue, Well, the thoughts on the above topic came about because I am very introspective person. I always reflect upon how am I doing today? what is my current emotional and physical state and health? Why am I acting the way I was? And this came to mind. When I analysed and ponder upon it I realised that it has got something to do with my family background and how we were raised, I look at both my mum and dad, I inherited a fair share of both characteristics. Even though, by the law of science, there is no such thing as behavioural inheritance (accept for the criminal genes, where i have came across, when studying forensic science),  

Have you ever been in a situation where you never even thought of liking a friend that much but ended up accidentally falling for him for all the things you like about him? ( like, wow, he really is something special I have not seen in most young man these days) And not long after that, things happened, when at first, it feels right but then stuff got weird ( some of it could be my own faults) and I somehow feel like he doesn't want me around him at all? This is not a good feeling to have. It has been 7 months since the first approach, I still can't quite get over it. No matter how much I try to resist that feeling or ignoring. At the end of the day, before bed, at work, I still think about it. At night yesterday, I was sleeping and thinking at the same time, result is I don't really sleep. I was sleepy at work, but still managed to do work actively thanks to all the workouts.. Almost at the end of the year now, wonder where this leads? Why did our paths crossed in

Ternyata kita manusia yang tidak lari daripada sifat kelalaian dan kesilapan. Bila tiba masa reflection selepas solat, banyak perkara yang difikirkan terutamanya dosa2 lepas yang terjadi dengan sedar dan tanpa sedar.. Terfikir, bolehkah saya tebusi semua kesilapan? Mampukah saya maintain dalam keadaan yang baik baik saja? Semuanya menjadi tanda soal, bila lama difikir mula menitis air mata... Banyaknya perkara yang kena improve spiritually. Kagum dengan orang yang live fully by the religion respectively. ( impikan suatu hari nanti, I will be as such too)