Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Catching My Breath Through This Extremely Fast Pace Month

Got nothing to say but I want to have a long long holiday somewhere ALONE. Away from everyone. Just me and my thoughts

Friday, August 11, 2017

Self worth

A lady should have it always.

I am one who will always sacrifice myself to a relationship/connection whatever you called it.

I've experienced not being treated justly or should I say I made the most effort but the other person care less .

I am now conpletely clear that I don't want to be in that state anymore.

Despite living a single life people may ask me don't you get lonely?
Me:"hell no" and I wish to keep it that way until a deserving one comes

Self worth is good for my emotional wellbeing and it keeps me happy.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Playful dreams

Been having odd dreams of communicating with a certain someone recently. When previously all the dreams with that particular human being were nothing more than just eye contact with no verbal communication.

I guess dream really is one unexplainable existance.  now im wondering how and why there is even a dream in the first place.. What causes it, complete with a full story line.

Hmm (long thinking stare into space)

Saturday, July 15, 2017

I don't get itchy man

So I went for a night trek on friday. I joined a big group..

The hike was all good except for when my colleague started feeling nauseous.. Her face and lips are pale. I asked her to rest and let me know if she is not okay to continue.  But she didn't say much. Then there is this older guy I think 40plus yo.. Came to advice her to keep hiking and encouraging sounds sincerely caring..  And up till a point my colleague could not take it anymore she just stopped.. AndI stopped too. Went completely pale.. One of the sisters offered her two pieces of dates. And she took it.. After that all were good and we're ready to continue hiking..

That's when the weirdness freaky creepy stuff started happening. At first I thought that uncle was just welcoming new people to the team.. And he asked me a lot of questions.   Trying to sound very friendly. And used "I n U" instead of calling himself pak cik...

Well me being me.. I can sense if something is off about a person very easily..  So i started to not answer much
And things got weirder when he will come to where ever that we were resting at trying to stike a conversation..

And till we all went down the hill upon completion...  Before going off he asked for a selfie with us.. And I thought, red flag again..

Not until I was in the car driving, my colleague told me.. "kak nad, saya tak suka lah pak cik tu,  dia letak Tangan kat bahu saya..."

Im like tang tang... My gut was right
. He is an itchy old man.. (sounds harsh but that is the best way to describe it).. 

No wonder lah bersungguh asked me to join for the next hike at angsi..
Lucky I said, I need to check my schedule..

Learning from the trip:

1.Never trust a guy that much, sometimes they have funny business up their sleeves (I never really did)  except for the one I really trust and know how they are as a human being.

2. Always2 bring energy booster during a hike, may not be for me but for people undery care...

3. Bukit saga was easy. I think my second time I could do it up and down in just 1 hour instead of 2.  I will definitely go there again.. Cause it's good cardio and I am so happy I don't really feel tired after the hike. It was an easy one for me.. Alhamdullillah...

Friday, June 30, 2017

2017 All out Raya

Today is 6th day of syawal month and I am having a blast so far. Talk abour raya celebration, there is always a different vibes to it each year. This year was one of the best Raya I had and still having.

For a start, my first time driving long distance roughly 7-8 hours per trip. Then We passed by our former state where we lived in and I got to reminisce on the good old days.  we had almost all of our siblings back to the same kampung... Yeay. Including Yaqqin n sofea.. We rented a homestay because we don't want to burden my aunt and coincidentally my other relatives were staying at her house. So it's a blessing actually to stay at the homestay..

I got to feel how to take care of an active baby yaqqin and had/have a taste of how mum's life is. It's pretty not bad since I love to be in service. I can imagine myself in the future as a well prepared mum.

I did not get any "bila nak kahwin question" kidding.** just a couple maybe but mostly were leading towards "lekaih2 lah" ; "dah cukup umur dah" ; .. Which I know don't feel stressed amymore cause I have come to a state where I know that words are just words unless if we put emotion in it... So I'm pretty alright this time.  Next week is my same age cousin's wedding.. N that left me being the only single 28yr old and unmarried cucu of haji mansur..which im slightly sad because I may not have the chance to hang with my cuz like we used to before. (mostly mesti akan cater to le husband je).. I hope my future the one will not be clingy n always independent n let me do what I want to do.. Hehe..

Excited for the fact that I got the chance to breathe in the fresh countryside's air and listen to the sound of nature and experienced riding a motorbike carried by my other cousin without wearing helmet and looking at the beautiful dusk clouds. Feeling the wind to my face and feeling like I went through the moment in slow mo. .

Feeling so free and carefree.
The feeling was rather heighted maybe because I have been so so busy for the past months that this raya feels like a long break..

Hence one best raya.. Wweee hoo