neuroticallyme

I was making tea and as usual my brain thinks about every other million things. And suddenly I thought of this:"what makes me, me?" Okay, I was supposed to continue this last two days but reently I have slept mighty early.. hehe. Too tired during the day could be. Always give my all at work. sampai malam mata ngantuk. Anyhoo, let's continue, Well, the thoughts on the above topic came about because I am very introspective person. I always reflect upon how am I doing today? what is my current emotional and physical state and health? Why am I acting the way I was? And this came to mind. When I analysed and ponder upon it I realised that it has got something to do with my family background and how we were raised, I look at both my mum and dad, I inherited a fair share of both characteristics. Even though, by the law of science, there is no such thing as behavioural inheritance (accept for the criminal genes, where i have came across, when studying forensic science),  ...

Have you ever been in a situation where you never even thought of liking a friend that much but ended up accidentally falling for him for all the things you like about him? ( like, wow, he really is something special I have not seen in most young man these days) And not long after that, things happened, when at first, it feels right but then stuff got weird ( some of it could be my own faults) and I somehow feel like he doesn't want me around him at all? This is not a good feeling to have. It has been 7 months since the first approach, I still can't quite get over it. No matter how much I try to resist that feeling or ignoring. At the end of the day, before bed, at work, I still think about it. At night yesterday, I was sleeping and thinking at the same time, result is I don't really sleep. I was sleepy at work, but still managed to do work actively thanks to all the workouts.. Almost at the end of the year now, wonder where this leads? Why did our paths crossed in ...

Ternyata kita manusia yang tidak lari daripada sifat kelalaian dan kesilapan. Bila tiba masa reflection selepas solat, banyak perkara yang difikirkan terutamanya dosa2 lepas yang terjadi dengan sedar dan tanpa sedar.. Terfikir, bolehkah saya tebusi semua kesilapan? Mampukah saya maintain dalam keadaan yang baik baik saja? Semuanya menjadi tanda soal, bila lama difikir mula menitis air mata... Banyaknya perkara yang kena improve spiritually. Kagum dengan orang yang live fully by the religion respectively. ( impikan suatu hari nanti, I will be as such too)

Is it rare to stay loyal to someone you like/love? I realized these banyak kekurangan sifat tersebut. Selamba dek melayan orang lain walaupun dah kahwin.. Feel like there is a,lacked of common sense on how their partner would be thinking/feeling. I for one think that being loyal is important. For the past few relationships I had, I am always dead serious and committed to my then partner. Somehow, they were notas serious as they claimed. I will always aim for a legit tie whenever  am in a relationship.. Lol.. I am not one who play games or having  bf for the sake of having one. I took relationship seriously. I guess they just find me intensed in that sense. Oh well, now I know I can't really trust man's words.. After a few disappointments, I am not ready for another one. Next time it will be a serious one hopefully. I am not getting younger, for sure I don't have time for game. You are either in or out.. There is no in between..

Tak sedap hati, gerak hati, petunjuk? hmm peliknya perasaan. malas nak fikir. go away feelings. I don't like to be in this mode. A lot of job done. But somehow, somewhat it always there in my mind. why is it still there? it has been months, why can't it just go away? kadang2 tak tenang dibuatnya, keep praying to be removed if it's not destined to be so. But why is it still here. Kepelikan.

I am officially tired, fatigue. Today is my final day of a full 7/days a week job, for the past 4 weeks.. As much as I love to work, I do believe in getting enough rest. I know I'm currently completely exhausted cause I can't think straight anymore  My brain has been working hard, so does my tummy. All 3 parts of them.  the duodenum, jejunum and ileum from  All the food I took when in need of adenosine triphosphate for physical.use or for neuron transmission cause I think a lot. Well eventually we do need a lot of ATP  to do a lot of other things. It all relates, the CNS system is one of the most amazing system i have ever known. Tak boleh stop bila cakap pasal sains ni.. Anyhoo, I decided to again go watch a movie alone..cause im kinda introverted, i love to spend time alone, its my way of recharging, be it hiking, running, swimming, shopping.. I do mostly by myself. Today im watching jack reacher, last i watched when i was still in uni. For some reason, I l...

On the 10th of October, My 7th nephew was born. He has a rather a unique name when you translate it to english it would means, confirm a winner. It was my eldest sister's 2nd child after 9 years of giving birth to her first born.So I can only imagine how happy she is now. and also my parents. I am also anxious for the baby to come out because I am excited to see that sweet little face. :) Being in the same house with my sis, and seeing her went through the pregnancy and second time mother to a baby just makes me even more impressed with all the mothers in the world.. Imagine going through the morning sickness, mood swing, stressful situation, carrying a living creation in your amniotic sac, the back pain (Goodness Having period pain is one of the things I don't really enjoy having especially if it is paired with massive headache- not good not good), Having to always take care of she eats, activities she does, going though hours of contraction, pushing the baby out (ouchie),...